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May 07 - The Kray Twins Arrive Having decided to keep a couple of pigs again this year we chose, this time, to get our piglets from a nearby rare breed pig farm.
Unlike the pigs we raised in 2006, these pigs had been born outside to a sow (who had been served by a boar as opposed to a pig farmer with a gentle hand and long syringe!) and were used to open space and fresh air.
Our friend Kathy who runs a B&B (la tranchardiere) with her mum told us of an English couple, Gordon & Sarah, who run a rare breed pig farm not too far away.
So off we went to view a nursing sow and her piglets.
"Mum" was a Large Black called Cilla and "dad" was a Tamworth (a pig that dates back to the iron age).
We chose on red piglet (for bacon) and one black (for joints & sausages) and given the size of mum, we were satisfied that they would grow to a considerable size.
2 weeks later, we went back to collect them with extra layers of newspaper in the boot of the car.
The difference this year was that because our pigs were "free range" they had to be caught. Dan and our friend Mark were the best men for the job!
Poor Dan hadn't run so fast since he missed the 6.32 to Fenchurch Street and given that he was never any good at football his tackles and dives were not exactly worthy of a first division football player - in fact, not even good enough for the Vauxhall league!!!
Plenty of missed tackles with the piglets and rolling around in their muck, Dan & Gordon had caught our 2 piglets - Mark by this time was coughing up a lung somewhere at the far end of the field!
The phrase to "squeal like a pig" means nothing 'til you've travelled home for an hour with 2 little piglets crying for their mum and siblings in the boot of your car!
Once home, Ronnie & Reggie didn't even stop to survey their new surroundings. They slipped under the electric fence and made a dash for it (quicker than a disappearing guinea fowl!)
Dan, who had barely caught his breath from the last chase couldn't believe that he had to spring into action again. Tracey on the other hand couldn't hold the camera still for laughing!!!
It was Reggie (the red one) who escaped first but before Dan could catch him he was trapped against the chicken wre surrounding the bird enclosure, which made Dan's rugby tackle to the ground a bit easier.
No sooner had Reggie been installed back in the pound than Ronnie (the black one) decided he'd escape!!!
The thing is, the electric fencing was in exactly the same place as it had been for Delboy & Rodney last year so we concluded that Ronnie & Reggie must be smaller to be able to limbo underneath.
The only way to resolve the problem of the pigs wanting to escape was to install more electric fencing. Whilst Tracey and Dan's dad took a trip to the local shop to purchase the necessary, Dan, his mum and Mark kept a close vigil on Ronnie & Reggie to make sure they didn't escape again.
Animals generally learn to steer clear of electric fencing once they've been zapped. The problem was, Ronnie & Reggie had not been educated to this point as they'd avoided getting a shock by escaping without touching the wire.
Of course, the only way to install new electric fencing is to turn off the current...
...no sooner had the current been switched off and one of the piglets escaped again!
Dan really didn't know his arse from his elbow at this point. Did he finish the job off to contain the second piglet, or forget the fencing and chase after the piglet?
Of course, Tracey was wholly responsible for capturing the entire episode on video - but failed miserably as she was laughing!
As luck would have it, the piglet decided he preferred the company of his mate and so ran back into the enclosure. Very hastily, the new fencing was put up and the electric switched back on before the little buggers could escape again.
Once everything had calmed down, Dan said goodnight to the pigs and issued the idle threat "escape again, and you're spit-roast"
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